Shatter

I got some horrible news today. A young, and very recently married couple I know, had a son earlier this week. Johnny V. was born 8 lb 3 oz. and healthy. Mom was good as well. However, a few days later, they discovered that his small intestines were not formed properly. His bowels were leaking into his body and causing an infection. They took him to surgery and removed a portion of his intestines. He came out of surgery and was on the path to recovery.

I received a phone call this morning at 7 am to hear that Johnny died at 3:30 am, October 11, 2008. He was just shy of three days old.

I cannot fathom the pain and trauma this couple and their family are going through. To carry your child to full term, give birth and then lose him - how do you live? There was a room at their house designed with him specifically in mind that will now remain empty and a memory of what was ... but is no more.

And so I ask, God where are you in this? Where are you in taking the life of a newborn?

And he says, "Stephanie - the same place I've always been - in control. In absolute control. Then. Now. And always. Let me be your refuge."

There is a new song by OAR called "Shattered" and one of the lines in the chorus reflects adequately my current state in too many things:

"How many times can I break till I shatter?"

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1 Comment

  1. Jessica Chen on Saturday, October 11, 2008 at 9:40:00 PM EDT

    Your story made me think of Steven Curtis Chapman's story...when he lost his 5-yr old daughter to an accident in May. He wrote this new verse to one of his songs (cause he had a new album coming out this year). I hope it can be of some comfort...
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-ERm0_tuKM