Next to unpacking, dumping your boyfriend or girlfriend is our favorite thing to do after a church retreat. We can't help it. The retreat speaker always tells us on Saturday night, "If there's anything you need to lay down before the cross tonight, to give up to God, come down and do it. Don't wait, this is your chance." And you are the first thing we think of. So we decide with our retreat friends that we are going to do it. This relationship is over. And then on Sunday afternoon when we get back, we call you and have the following conversation:
Girl:
"The retreat was good, it gave me a lot to think about."
Guy:
"Really? Like what?"
Girl:
"Well, I think you and I have grown apart."
Guy:
"You've been gone for 44 hours and were 119 miles away, what do you mean?"
Girl:
"God just really laid it on my heart that I should focus on him and not this relationship."
Guy:
"God told you to dump me?"
And so forth. The moral of this story is that if your girlfriend or boyfriend is going on a retreat, you better go too. Unless it's an all girl's retreat. And mission trips are even worse. Your girlfriend is going to start seeing Mark, that awkward but kind of cute guy, in a whole new light during that mission trip. It's a light called, "Look at Mark feed hungry children in Africa while my boyfriend plays Xbox back in Ohio."
Don't say I didn't warn you.
hahaha. it works in reverse, too. don't come back too holy, or your girlfriend my think you're a different person... heaven forbid.