One of them has lasted my whole life and the other has developed or something, within the past couple years. Now, let me just say that I don't deal everyday with them. They just seem to come out during certain seasons or times in my life.
I just can't seem to free myself of them. Yes, I've prayed about them. Yes, I've talked to God about them and been proactive to a degree. Yet they still occupy my mind sometimes. I cannot begin to express to you the frustration I feel. I am just overcome with feelings and thoughts that put me behind bars. And I'm stuck. I want out but don't have the energy.
I feel like I'm running on a treadmill trying to get to California or somewhere. I run hard and hard, but in reality don't get very far. So much time and energy is wasted and lost.
God have you forgotten me? Have you forgotten my state? Why am I here in it? What is it you are trying to teach me or show me? I don't know how much longer I can take. I don't know how much longer I want to take.
