I can't say going to bed last night was easy. I was frightened. My mind was focused on death. I've dealt with death a crazy number of times. More times than I would have liked. I've even watched someone die and it's not an easy thing to go through.
By now, I'm sure you've heard of Heath Ledger's passing.I don't care how he died - the fact of the matter is he is no longer alive. The guy was only 28 years old. Only 3 years older than me. Wow. Now, I know that death can happen to anyone at anytime, and I think that's why I was freaked out. It could be me.
As I was getting into bed, I couldn't help but play through my mind what would happen if I got a phone call alerting me of my grandparents' death or my parents' death. What would I say? How would I respond? Would it be a helpful response or a dramatic one? How would my life change? What would it be like?
What kind of message does a pastor give at a funeral? Especially if the deceased was not a follower of Jesus? I remember attending a funeral in college for a friend's fiance of mine, and the priest/pastor said something like, "He's in a better place. We'll all see him in heaven someday." This man who passed did not follow Jesus. I was sick in my stomach. It was a lie.
I then decided that whoever dies next in my family, I want to speak at the funeral. I want to give a bold gospel message that is not sugar coated, but firm and loving and REAL. It's what the Scriptures say, which comes from God. They can hate me all they want, but the reality is as sinners we all deserve to die. We are all sinners. We all deserve death. But God in His graciousness and kindness sent Jesus who died for us. Beat sin. Beat death. Rose again. All so that we can be reconciled to Him and share in eternal life. If you do not give your life to Jesus, admit you're a sinner and that you're in need of His forgiveness and allow Him to lead your life, you're headed for a place of eternal separation and eternal punishment from God. This was NOT his original plan.
It is a matter of life and death.
I also thought about my death, wondering what people would do/say etc. What would they say about me? This is pretty narcissistic perhaps, but who hasn't thought about it? Then I started to fear. What is death like? Is it quick? What exactly happens? How can you go from existing in your physical body in one second and then not in the next? What happens after your heart stops? I think it was the fear of the "unknown" that was getting to me ... fear that I didn't know exactly what would happen.
Is it okay, as a follower of Jesus, to be afraid of death? Should we fear death? Should we anticipate it? How should we feel about it? I just don't know. What does it say about someone if they are afraid?
Anyway, Heath's death reminds me that life is very real. Death is very real. Time is very real.
Here is a link to a video of Heath Ledger's last appearance on the Ellen show. It's pretty funny. I didn't know the guy personally, but he looked enjoyable. I don't know if he knew Jesus or not and so for that I pray that God would have mercy on His soul.
http://youtube.com/watch?v
